chasing her away
by GingerGleek
Summary: Finn!Angst with a healthy side of St. Berry mentioned. Rated T to be safe due to minor language and hints at mature themes. / He's an idiot. He'd chased her straight into Jesse St. James' outstretched arms.


**A/N:** I really, really like this one. I've had the idea since 'Hell-O', but tonight I finally sat down and wrote it in about an hour. I've, admittedly, fallen for the St. Berry ship (it's really too bad that he's obviously playing her); and I couldn't resist this Finn-angst regarding the subject. Really, Finn's been the quite the douche . . . and I still feel sorry for him.

**Word Count:** 1,112

[Un-beta-ed, but I went over it very carefully.]

I really, really hope you enjoy!

* * *

He's an idiot.

It's not as though it wasn't already common knowledge that he isn't the sharpest tool in the garage (or whatever the Hell that expression is), but this time he knows himself that's he's absolutely moronic (a word he learned from Rachel herself). There's simply is no other explanation for his actions. I mean, what the Hell was he thinking, anyways? How could he have not seen what was right in front of his face?

-o-o-o-o-o-

She's always been there.

When he had just joined (_cough_ been blackmailed into joining _cough_) Glee; when he'd found out Quinn was pregnant (he forces himself to think about it, because he has to own up to everything completely); when he was confused and hurting and a wreck; when she knew that she didn't stand a chance against the – supposed – mother of his child. She'd been there, so obviously wanting him, and forcing herself to stay back and respect his relationship.

Then, when everything went to Hell in a hand basket, she gave him space – for a little while, that is. But then she just barged into his life and did everything in her power to make him stop dwelling on the past and move on. Which he now knows is exactly what he'd needed at the time. But he'd been unwilling to accept the help, choosing instead to torture himself and pine after the girl who'd lied to him, cheated with his best friend, and broken his heart. And through it all Rachel had plastered that award-winning smile on her face and pretended not to see the obvious longing gazes that he sent Quinn's way; pretended that she couldn't see that he was not giving her the attention she deserved.

And as if the neglect hadn't been enough, he'd had to go and tell her that he had to 'find his inner rock star' and that he didn't 'want to be her boyfriend'. He'd let her walk away from him with tears streaming down her face after she'd reamed him out good. (He'd watched her go, knowing she was right in everything she'd said, but too afraid to admit it.)

-o-o-o-o-o-

By the time he'd realized how wrong he'd been to choose a date with Santana and Brittany over being her boyfriend, she'd already found somebody new. 'Somebody' being: the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline, AKA their main competition at Regionals.

Worse, he'd had to accidentally imply that he was only using her. (Implying that the douche was using her wasn't an accident; implying that that was the only reason he'd be interested in her in the first place was an accident, not to mention totally not what he'd meant.) Once again she'd stormed away, angry, leaving him standing alone by her locker, completely bewildered.

She was supposed to break up with the Vocal Adrenaline guy, as per the orders of the original Gleeks to do so (lest her interfere with their chance at Regionals). He'd thought she had, to be perfectly honest – having had no reason to think she'd lie to him or anyone else. He'd gone up to her, telling her that he had made a mistake and that he wanted to be with her. To his shock, she'd stammered out a refusal; something about it not being good for the team to have any more drama right then. Little did he know it was because she hadn't stopped seeing _Jesse_.

He was completely serious when he told her that he wasn't going to give up on her. He'd had no intention to, and (as far as he was aware at the time) nothing standing in his way.

He saw her face during Hello Goodbye; could tell that something was off. She's usually so happy and carefree when she's singing with him. But she was running away from him. Naturally, in the spirit of not giving up, he'd chased after her when she'd bolted from the auditorium. He'd felt his own heart crumble slightly when she'd wrenched her arm from his grasp and told him to leave her alone, and wondered if this was how she'd felt before their roles had reversed.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Singing with her had been amazing; it always was. And he'd been forced to admit that Madonna wasn't all that bad to sing, at all; not if you were singing with the right person, that is.

But they'd walked away from each other, because she'd just told him that she was still with Jesse (something that made his heart clench and his stomach churn). He'd gone foolishly to Santana, taking her up on her previous offer. Maybe it was time to ditch the V-card, after all.

But it was wrong. It was empty and meaningless and unfulfilling. It wasn't anything; it was nothing. It was a mistake, indefinitely, made in a cheap motel room on a night he wished he could take back.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Now, his heart once again clenches as she tells him she's done it with Jesse. The way she talks about it, like it was unimportant and nice . . . he doesn't want to think about it. He lies to her, tells her that he hadn't gone through with it with Santana. He doesn't know that she'd lied as well.

Then, that bastard has the balls to show up at McKinley and join New Directions. The outrage is clear on everyone's faces; except Rachel's. Hers shows nothing more than honest confusion.

She asks him why. And Finn listens as the dude tells her that 'when you love something, you have to go for it' and 'you're more important to me' and a load of other things that Finn should have been smart enough to tell her a long time ago.

Before he'd played with her heart; before he'd neglected her; before he'd dumped her . . .

. . . Before he'd chased her straight into Jesse St. James' outstretched arms.

-o-o-o-o-o-

He can't even bring himself to really hate the dude.

Because once you get to know him he isn't all that bad, really (even though Finn still thinks he's a spy). He's kind of funny, and he's talented . . . and he's spot on when he says Rachel's a keeper.

That doesn't go to say that it doesn't hurt when he sees Jesse swinging Rachel (who should be _his_ girl, but isn't) around on the stage after 'Like A Prayer'; because it does hurt, like Hell.

But he doesn't really have a right to feel hurt in the end, because he's the idiot who chased her there in the first place.

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Please review!


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